target trippin'

(aka, Nathan's ADD trip to Target. Ready? Set? Go!) Ok, so I decided to head over to Target today during lunch to check out these really great Merona suit vests they've just gotten in for men that look so cool and stylish, and come in three different patterns, and I was all like "Oh, I could look mucho cool and stylish!" except I haven't looked cool and stylish in years, mainly cause I just let myself go, you know? We'll blame it on the depression, but oh, that's another story. (I jest, I jest. I think...) But alas, these vests were definitely going to bring me back into cool and stylish mode, so off I went!

I'm searching for them, and what do you know, the Target near my home has all of them, this Target (same size as the one at home, but noticeably sucking in merchandise carrying) has... one style. So I grab a small (my usual size) run to the fitting room, try it on, and it won't even wrap all the way around my body, let alone button! Ha ha, ok. So apparently I don't wear smalls in suit vests. (Shush!) So I leave the fitting room, go to try on a medium, deciding to forgo the fitting room again and use their mirror they have out on the floor; and it fits great! Yay, but then I notice, the little belt thing that's on the back of vests (what is that called?) isn't well, belted. And I go to do it, and it's made rather poorly. The two pieces won't stay connected. Well, how lame!

So I decide to leave the clothing area and walk past the baby area, where there is a woman looking at baby washes, and I immediately think "Run over and exclaim to her how much you lust method squeaky green baby wash! And that she simply must buy it, buy it, buy it! Go green apple! Purchase the peach! Ransack the rice milk + mallow!" but I decide not to scare the poor woman and just keep walking.

To the kitchen aisle. Ohh, look, they have that small Preserve recycled cutting board in bright green I've been eyeing, and I got a little extra in my paycheck from the tax break stimulus thingy! Oh, I should get it! But but, I'll... wait. Ok, off we go...

To the method (Wait, did he just say method?) aircare section! I gotta see if they have the new candles in, cause I had to buy the sweetwater candles the other day while they were still on sale, because they were all out of the lavender + lemongrass; and now the sale is over, but when they get the l+l candles I'll just bring the other ones back for exchange (yes, it's a tad sneaky, I'm sorry; but still totally legit, don't you agree? Sometimes ya gotta play their game, people!); since my Targets aren't quite as nice as method lust reader Jamison's, and they wouldn't give me any rain checks for the candles.

Oh look, nothing. Hmm, the rest of the line is fairly full, but the candles are empty. Three old soy formula l+l candles sitting there, nothing else... Wait, what is this? The shelf stickers for the other candles, they're gone? What's going on here? It's like they've removed them from the shelf, permanently. WHAT. is. going. on. here? (Let's just chalk it up to the aircare line's big spring edition boost that HAS to be coming up this month, and not get all hysterical here right yet! Ok? I'll check this out, and get back with everyone!) Hmm... I'm worried (all appears fine, as I stumbled into my other Target this evening (don't even) and they had just gotten a brand spankin' new shipment of candles in. So don't ask me what was up with the shelf stickers thing, I ain't got a clue)... as I walk to the checkout line, to grab a pack of...

cupcakes. Yep, you read right. (Get in shape, size medium? What are you talking about.) And there is this woman in front of me, and she's buying oh oh, yes, it's method french lavender hand wash! And and, next to it, two bottles of red Dawn dish detergent?? What is that all about? So what do I do, I say (in as whimsical a way as I can...) "Well, if you're going to buy the method hand wash, why in the world wouldn't you buy their dish soap too?" And smile at her (secretly demanding she return the Dawn and go get the method, all with my eyes. My eyes say A LOT, let me tell you.) But alas, she says surprisingly "Well, I didn't know they made dish soap!" to which I replied "Oh, they sure do! And it's super!" Ok, well, maybe I didn't say the super part. And she says "well, I'm trying to buy red dish soap, to match my new red kitchen." to which I thought of saying "But, but, they make pink." but really, it wouldn't have helped. If only it had been the holidays, I could have thrown her the winterberry bone. Oh well!

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And with that, I walked out of Target. Without my vest. Worried about my method candles. And with two cupcakes too many for my body. (And it only came with two, you know. Get it... oh, whatever.)

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PS - method, you need to put a little cute tag, sorta like the house tags you had a while back, letting people know about all the products you sell! Cause this woman had no clue, because Target puts some method products by themselves, and others with the full line. And obviously she must have picked it up by itself. But if it had a tag telling her about all the wonderfuls method makes, she's know! And I wouldn't have to hunt her down. Suggestion!

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PPS - Yeah, this post was all over the place, ok? Just a Target day in the life for Nathan... sweet mercy, he needs some help.