Monday, April 12, 2010
Well what do ya' know? That nasty antibacterial product could just be, well, nasty? As Gomer Pyle would say (you all remember him, right?) "Surprise, surprise!" Not.
I hope my mom is reading this post. Oh wait, she's not cause she doesn't read my blog. Or any blog. But I have a cute little story for you. So this past Christmas I went home for the holidays, and as usual I had gotten my mom some method hand wash as a stocking stuffer. Something I do a lot for the holidays. Until just recently there was no where to even buy method (we live IN the sticks, I tell ya!) Luckily now, though, they have a Lowes!
But she has a tendency to do this horrible deed. I'll come home a year later again for the holidays, and she's gone and replaced the method hand wash (she used it all up of course) with Softsoap! So I go out and confront her about it! And do you know what she says "They don't make an antibacterial version, and that's what I like to use." News to me! Especially since I've yelled and screamed about antibacterial products for years now. For years. Remember this. This will come in handy a moment from now.
So a day or so later, after this discussion/argument/screaming fight/gun duel (ok, well, no screaming fight or gun duel, but that would make a great movie!) we're in Walmart (cause again, we live in the STICKS!) and she's buying stocking stuffers and they're RIGHT out in the open cause my mom, well, she's not very stealthy; and right there, RIGHT THERE are two bottles of antibacterial hand sanitizer. One for my sister, one for me. In fact, during our soap confrontation, I think the following words came out of my sister's mouth to mom - "Yeah, don't ever get him any hand sanitizer. Cause he hates that stuff!"
Christmas day, stockings are emptied. I pull the hand sanitizer out (and I'm way too nice, so I literally just thank her while projecting this "what the fudge?!" look - cause cursing is so not allowed in our family) and she says "use it and stay healthy!" - I could feel the tiny dagger slipping into my flesh, ever so slowly.
She won't be getting anymore method hand wash from me, ever again.
PS - Did you know they even put this stuff in toothpaste?!? Toothpaste! I did not even know that! In fact I just bought a double-pack deal of Colgate Advanced Clean, and THAT'S the toothpaste it's in. I wouldn't have even guessed! Ugh...
Extra PS - I loves my mom, I really do. (Except for that part of her that likes antibacterial.)
As Nancy Reagan would say (did I just use Nancy Reagan in a blog post? What is this world coming to?!) "Just Say No."