target police

Ok, so get this. Yesterday evening I decided to run over to a Target near where I work, in order to procure one final bottle of Fig aroma spray (have I mentioned how much I love the Fig scent? At this point that question is sarcasm, because yes, I have. Oh have I.) But alas it's from the Fall edition, so it's being discontinued to make room for the Spring editions. So, I go over to the method area, and it's totally cleaned out. All the spray bottles are gone. ALL of them! How odd, I think? I just saw some there the other day (yeah, let's not discuss how many times I go to Target in a given week, shall we? It would be very scary.) So I decide I have to go to the one near my home, and see if they have any left. At this point I'm panicking (oh, no! (breathing hard, short breaths) I must have my final Fig spray! What shall I do?? Have faith, have faith!)

So I stop by the next Target near my home. CLEANED out! No more on the shelves! Man, at this point I'm starting to get all dizzy and light headed and I can't speak properly and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through without my Fig fix and I start creating run on sentences and then I think AHA! check out the end caps. End caps (for those that don't know) are the ends of each shelf in a store, and Target is well known for placing sale items on their end caps. So I rush to the end cap, look up and down the aisle, and spy ONE bottle! A couple of Cinnamon Bark plug-ins look at me, as well as ONE bottle of Fig spray! Cue angels singing "Hallelujahs" coming down from the Heavens, I grab it up, and run to the check out aisle! Dreaming of all the Fig spraying I'll be able to get into before the evening is over, the woman rings up the bottle, and the register spits out a piece of paper, and she turns to me and says:

"I can't sell this to you."

Ok, so my eyes slowly open and I'm feeling all weak, and the woman is standing over me with an ammonia stick in order to awaken me from my fainting spell (or I could maybe be making all of that last sentence up, but you know, it COULD have happened, you know?) and I say "why?" and she calls over a manager, and I'm still standing right there, customer at check out. He sees the paper and says "Oh, yes, this is being recalled. Ok, no problem." and I'm thinking finally sanity has returned and he's going to override the register so I can purchase this. And he plugs in some numbers into the register, and says "ok." and looks at me like "oh, are you a customer?" and I say "ok, but so I can't buy it." and he says:

"No."

And I walk out. Ok, ok, so I'm not angry (and they weren't mean about it or anything.) It's more a "don't you love how people do things now look at all the red tape we create in the world" cause you know, many discontinued method products end up at Big Lots (a discount store, I think it's nation wide?) so I can bet you money the Fig spray (which was only recalled due to new product coming out, not due to issues with the actual product) will show up at Big Lots within six months, and I'll grab some up. But really, the price tag was on the product and all, and I couldn't buy it. Instead they'll ship it off to somewhereville, then ship it to Big Lot ville, and I'll buy it then. - red tape. But seriously, I think it's more funny than anything else! (And it's not like I didn't have a bottle in my discontinued method stock at my house, so I'll just put in my super secret pass code, and slide open the vault door, and wisk out the Fig spray from my "discontinued stash" and spray away! Just don't make me show you where the vault is... or I'd have to kill you later. (Cause well, you know, it's a secret and all, and well, you get it, right? Ok...)