dear linens n' things

Dear Linens N' Things,

I'm writing you this letter to apologize. I'm very sorry I did what I did. All I was attempting to do was check out what method products you may still have been carrying in your store, and noticed that bottle of Lavender hand wash refill way, way, WAY up high on the shelf, in the cleaning products department.

Now, I'm a rather tallish kind of guy. A good six feet. I thought perhaps I could reach it, but that was definitely a no go. And you know, it's not like I needed the hand wash refill, but thought maybe it was on clearance, and curiousity did indeed get this cat. Yes, I could have went over, and grabbed one of those step ladders you were selling, right next to the cleaning products. I could have just "borrowed" it to use, to step right up and easily grab that refill bottle. But no, unfortunately I don't work that way. I decided I would simply grab one of those dusters you were selling behind me, with the long handles. That would work great, I thought. Just a light push, down it would fall gently like a feather, I would catch it, and be happily on my way. Really, seriously, that was my goal. Yeah, I know the hand wash bottle wasn't being very cooperative, I had to push it around a bit up there way high on the shelf, and it fell over slightly, onto another cleaner bottle; and I worried it might end up knocking a couple other items down, which was furtherest from my desires. - But never the less, I persevered.

And suddenly, the refill bottle broke free, I was at the home stretch! Just reach out your hands, catch the falling bottle, and all will be...

splat! Really, LNT, I'm so sorry. Somehow, in my girly cringing at being pelted in the head with method products, I didn't exactly catch the bottle, it hit the floor, the lid broke off and a tiny stream of lavender loveliness spilt forth. Not too much, mind you. Nothing devastating, but none the less. Why some of it even landed on my shoe. And yes, in my moment of embarrassment, I may not have told anyone about it, and simply picked up the bottle, set it up nice and neat, and scampered out the door. I'm sure most of the tiny bit of hand wash that did escape was soaked up by the carpeting, anyway. But still, I'm not proud of this moment of non-disclosure.

So Linens N Things, I simply wanted to let you know that I was sorry. It won't happen again. Mainly because you don't carry method products any longer. But also because I'm no longer allowed around long handled dusters. Hopefully moving forward, you can once again gain my trust, when shopping with you.

Sincerely,
Nathan at methodlust